Cleric bans women from touching bananas, cucumbers for sexual resemblance

Finally, a voice of reason!  Hopefully, they will go a step further and ban men from consuming these foods out of fear that they may become gay.  

Both sexes should probably avoid looking at minarets, skyscrapers, using pencils/pens, unopened umbrellas, oblong jars, and even passion fruit (for living up to its namesake).

UPDATE